To Eileen/ My Sister

I look for you on windy days
where skies move clouds through hurried days
I look for you in early morn
as footsteps crunch the new day dawn
I look for you on golden days
where sunlight warms the garden gate
I stop and wait to see your smile
and hear your laugh, your voice, your wonder

But trains roll on, on time or not
and clocks just tick the hours through
the days as dark as moonless nights
and cold as ice in northern tundra

My life goes on, not like before
the grief is mine, alone to heal
It seeps each time I make a move
It waits to pounce and pull me under
on darkened days
or days of splendor.

5/1/06